Using apps, especially to meet for sex, does not give anyone permission to commit a crime against you or force you to do anything without your consent. There are things you can do to feel more empowered and confident about using apps for dates and hook ups but it is not the responsibility of victims to stop sexual assault and crime: Anyone can potentially be a victim, however experienced, savvy or safe an app user you are.
It is not your fault. You have a right to report it to the police and a right to get informed, non-judgemental support. You may miss a hot date but your safety is more important. Cut your losses and end the contact as soon and as safely as you can, if possible. If you are still at the online stage, just end the contact.
It feels intimate and immediate. Lube reduces your STI risk and can make sex more pleasurable! We talk more about how to use lube and what kind might be right for you! Oral sex aka blow job, going down on, giving head. Oral sex puts you at risk for herpes, gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis and to a much lesser extent HIV. Many people prefer flavored condoms for oral sex, since they taste better than non-flavored ones. Stay away from flavored condoms for other kinds of sex though—they can lead to infections in some people because of the sugars.
We talk more about using condoms for oral sex here.
You can prevent this by not sharing toys, cleaning them before sharing, or using condoms on the toys just change the condom before your partner uses it. Keep in mind that not all sex toys are designed to be used in the anus. Analingus aka rimming, or contact between the mouth and anus.
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Analingus puts you at risk for herpes, gonorrhea, chlamydia, syphilis and to a much lesser extent HIV. To protect yourself and your partner, use a dental dam. This is a sheet of latex that you can put over the anus to create a barrier.
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You can get them at many drug stores, or make one from a condom by cutting off the tip and cutting it lengthwise. If you send a stranger an X picture that includes your face, you have just given that person the ability to potentially extort from you. Do a quick search of the Internet and see how many times this has happened to people. If you must send out pictures of yourself and want to include your face, consider upper torso shots only.
In other words, do not send anything you would not want your boss, your grandmother or your co-workers to see. I recognize here that people are likely saying to themselves. That is the problem folks, you have no idea who you are dealing with on the other end of that computer or phone. They can send you a dozen photos of themselves but that does not mean that is who they say they are and that does not mean the pictures you are seeing are of them. Why would you give a stranger something explosive to use against you? A buddy system is a 25 cent term for letting a close friend know trust that you are going out on a hook up.
Tell your buddy the time, place and location of your destination and make sure you check in with them. Consider creating a code-word that you can use with your buddy that you can quickly say or text to let them know you are in trouble.
Also, after the hook up, make sure you contact your buddy and let them know you are on your way home, regardless of how the hook up went. One other tip that some people suggest is to text your buddy a photo of the person you are going to be hooking up with. For what it is worth, there will at least be an image that can be used by police if something bad happens even if the image is fake, it has likely been used before by the person.
This is an obvious one but needs to be listed. If you are drinking out at a bar, do not jump on one of your phone apps looking for a hook up.
Mount Sinai Adolescent Health Center
Your judgment is likely going to be impaired and if you are drunk or even a little tipsy, you are a major target for the freaks, psychos and criminals who are looking for their next victim. How good is that hook up going to be anyway when you are drunk? When you are texting with your potential hook up, be aware of his intent.
Is he asking you if you party? That is a warning sign he may be looking for drugs. Is he saying he only sleeps on the bottom bunk — ask yourself: Has he been using something that prevents him from doing anything else?
1. Get a trick phone
He is looking to dominate? If so, is this something you really want to do with a total stranger? One way to screen for problems is to take the time to talk to the person on the phone. This means old fashioned voice communication. If so, simply tell them it is not a good match and politely end the call. Now you know why I suggested using a trick phone. Last point here — if they refuse to talk on the phone, consider this a major warning sign of trouble and discontinue communication!
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This is perhaps the most important tip of all. If you feel something just seems weird or are concerned in anyway about your personal safety, call off the hook up. You are not obligated to follow through.
Crime, Safety and Hook-Up Apps: advice for gay/bi men – Galop
This point is very simple — listen carefully to your inner voice. As mentioned earlier, the 10 online hook up safety tips offered here are not exhaustive. My hope is to spark conversation and awareness around this issue with the hope of promoting personal safety.
Speaking of personal safety, if you are ever in a situation where you are being attacked, please consider reading my personal self-defense tips. Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.
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