Things not to do on a dating site

After the jump, some things you might not have known…. Online dating sites love to boast about the millions of members they have. A few years ago, OKCupid calculated that Match was only marginally better, coming in at OKCupid was acquired by Match in , and that article has since been taken down for obvious reasons. Of course, putting something on the internet is kind of like catching herpes: And that would be wise… if not for the scads of other evidence that online dating sites do in fact juice up their numbers.

To date, Match has been involved in a spate of lawsuits by disgruntled daters, alleging that the vast majority of their member profiles are inactive or outright fake. One suit went as far as to accuse Match of employing shills to entice members to renew their subscriptions.

1. Not Considering Safety

These cases were all dismissed or dropped , but the most recent one in did produce disheartening results well, disheartening for online daters — the results were great for Match. This time, a federal judge threw out the case, on the grounds that Match makes perfectly clear in their terms of service that they do not screen member profiles, nor will they take any responsibility for doing so. In other words, even if the allegations are absolutely correct that most of their profiles are inactive or fake, Match is not obligated in any way to remove them. And hey, mad props to you for being such an exemplary case of human savvy.

Still, you might want to pay attention to this story , of the woman who went on a few dates with a man she met on Match, only to end up getting stabbed multiple times by him when she tried to break it off. Once again, Match got slapped with a lawsuit. And this time… whoa , they actually did something about it.

In , Match finally announced that they would start implementing background checks. Woo hoo, score one victory for the online dater, right? Hailing down on their own parade, Match admitted that the background checks may do little good. Were you actually trying to help? So, go ahead and enjoy online dating if you dare. Just be ridiculously wary of the human scum you may come across. And your date will never know the difference hopefully.

And guys, if Mother Nature graced you with the splintered end of the eloquence stick, this man will be your online dating coach. He will even pretend to be you throughout the entire communication process. Using his background in screenwriting i. Have fun on your date! Of course, you should also avoid drinking too much on a date, which makes you vulnerable. Appearing attractive doesn't mean you have to forego your personal privacy. Let's take a look at curating the perfect blend for some safe online dating.

Read More , either. Here's what's up with Voice and what you can expect to see in the revamped apps. Read More to keep your real information hidden. Here are the best. However, while using blurry photos or pictures with multiple people in them is bad, you can go too far in the other direction, too. If you spend hours in Photoshop to create the perfect set of pictures Create a Professional Profile Picture Using Photoshop and a Selfie Create a Professional Profile Picture Using Photoshop and a Selfie In this article, we'll show you how to create a clean, professional look from one of the most widespread photographic forms of the modern era: Read More to hide your flaws, what is your date going to think when they see the real you?

Ask a friend to take a few pictures of you with your smartphone camera. People who are looking for a companion on dating websites want to see an honest representation of you. The best profile photo is one that shows you as you naturally are. Have a headshot, a full-body shot, and a picture of you doing something that you love.

7 things you should do when online dating and 7 things you shouldn't

You should answer questionnaires honestly 5 Reasons to Take eHarmony's Questionnaire 5 Reasons to Take eHarmony's Questionnaire Most dating apps promise you immediate results and without much effort. But try eHarmony if you want to improve your chances for a long term relationship. The right person will love you not just because of traits they like about you, but despite your flaws.

All this being said, make sure to fill up your profile with info! Take the plunge and start making new friends who share your interests Read More and end with a good question to provoke a good response. Are you that guy on Tinder? Read More in your initial messages.


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This will scare people off. Be yourself and see what comes of it.

The world of online dating lends itself to some interesting challenges. Jaime Kulaga , life coach and PhD. Be especially careful when meeting someone for the first time. Kulaga added, "When you go out on a first date, make sure that friends or family know where you are going and never go to someone's house alone.

Dating Don’ts: 6 Harsh Online Dating Realities That You Should Be Aware Of

Make sure that your first date is somewhere in public movies, dinner, theme park, etc. While it might be tempting to use glamour shots of you that were taken ten years ago, don't do it. You want your photos to be an accurate representation of you so that when people meet you in real life, they get what they expect. Krimer added, "To maximize your success in meeting the right person, have photographs that are reflective of who you are and what you look like.

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The first photo is your first impression — try and remember that when you're coming up with your collection. Don't put up photos that are offensive or deceiving or that don't demonstrate who it is you really are. Even though photos are very important, don't discard a potential match just because of their appearance. David Bennett , certified counselor, relationship expert and co-author of seven self-help books, told me, "Studies show most people base online dating primarily on the photos.

While this isn't bad, it's the main reason so many people complain that sorting through the duds online is too much work, because just because someone looks good doesn't mean they are dating or relationship material. When choosing a partner, looks are only one part of the equation. Bennett suggested, "Give personality more weight, and swipe left on guys and gals you know wouldn't be good for you, even if they're hot. You'll get higher quality matches.

It's easy to get caught up worrying what your dates want and care about and to neglect your own wants and needs. One of the best things you can do in this process is to be self-aware. Krimer told me, "Check in with yourself before you get out into the dating world or whilst dating. Krimer suggested that you ask yourself the following questions: Do you know what you want and need?


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Are you ready to be in a serious relationship? Do you trust your judgment? What is your attachment style? What fundamental values do you want to align with your potential mate? Are you emotionally ready? Are you a good communicator?

Relationships are complex, and it's important to recognize them as such. Krimer told me, "Acknowledge all of the important factors that make a relationship healthy and work — are you confident in your ability to contribute to a relationship in these ways? If you experience difficulty in any of these areas, consider the fact that they may affect the outcome of your dating experiences. For example, people who have trouble loving themselves will often choose partners who will confirm their beliefs about themselves. While relationships are serious business, make sure that you enjoy yourself.

Krimer told me in our interview, "It's really easy to get caught up in the stresses of meeting someone — let alone meeting the right someone.

Do use photos that show the real you

Instead of letting yourself get stressed out, she suggested, "Make a conscious choice to think of ways to find enjoyment in meeting new people and putting yourself out there — focus on the process instead of the outcome. If you put too much pressure on the expectation of meeting someone, you're much more likely to feel disappointed or discouraged if it's not what you expect it to be. I've seen many friends let their longterm goals go out the window when they meet someone they really like, but who may not be a great long term match.

Krimer suggested that you keep your goals front and center.

She said, "Do know your goals for what you're looking for — what are your intimacy and relationship needs? Are the people you're meeting matching those needs? Are you getting into relationships with people with conflicting relationship goals i. Being honest with yourself and others about what it is you want in a relationship can help prevent unnecessary stress or uncertainty later on.

Choose to spend your time on online platforms where you are more likely to meet other people with similar goals. Kulaga told me, "There are online dating sites for everyone's desires. Whether you are looking for a long-lasting relationship or just want to 'play the field' for a while, online dating has you covered.

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